I feel like I am betraying the real and awesome me for someone who does not even exist

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I just want to clarify that I am not trying to romanticize my sufferings and neither am I trying to justify my shortcomings. All I want to say is that I accept myself for whatever I am (good or bad) and while I should do everything in my power to overcome my limitations but I cannot hold my real-self accountable to the standards of a fiction (i.e. the made-up non-existent version of myself).

https://soumyabansal.wordpress.com/2021/03/30/me-v-me

Life with me is never boring and that is something that I love about myself

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this semester I want to get comfortable with being bored. with relaxing with myself, and not being scared of missing out on other things. with finding contentment in doing nothing. and especially, with getting better at finding joy in little parts of my day, and finding hobbies and spending time with the people I love. this doesn’t mean I’m going to lose the exciting, fun-loving side of my personality, it just means that its going to grow because I’m going to find joy in every day life, and not sit around waiting for something “BiG” to happen.

https://juliannafraticelli.com/2021/01/19/learning-how-to-be-bored